Grateful Every Day

I meant to do it this year. I really did. I was going to be one of the people who remembered to post something they were thankful for every day online. But November rolled around, and I couldn't do it. It isn't that I'm not grateful. I am. I couldn't bring myself to tell the world in a way that felt right to me. So now it is November 15, and I am enjoying feeling grateful in my own way, and I'm okay with that. Mind you, one of my friends is posting things that she is grateful for,and guess what? I love it. I love reading what she has to say, and looking at her images. Do I feel like she is bragging? Not at all. In fact, she is grateful for many things we tend to take for granted.

Tree at Arches National Park 

Take health. It is easy to take health for granted. I've had some health challenges over the years. Most of us get a turn at that in life. Nothing makes me more grateful for being well than being sick. But often it takes an illness, or injury, or time on the sidelines in life to make me realize I really want to be in the game.

Nelson-Atkins Museum

And that is something I have learned to appreciate more--being in the game. When I take a moment to enjoy the moment, I find it is easy to be grateful for things. For example, it is late afternoon in November, and the slant of light that illuminated the pine tree outside my picture window for a few minutes was beautiful. The little junco hopping under my bird feeder looks so dapper with his deep black hood, he makes me smile.  We had a bumper crop of acorn squash in the garden this year, and while squash roasts in my oven, I have time to sit here, and write for a few minutes while my oven does the work, and for that, I am also grateful.

Indian Paintbrush

So I guess something I am really grateful for is that we get a chance to play this game of life. We all have our own strengths, and our own challenges. Some of us appear to be winning, or going in for a score, and others of us are struggling to even get in the game, or to remember which way to kick the ball. But none of that matters. What matters is that we get to play. That's what I am grateful for every day. That I get to be in the game.

Living in Thanksgiving - Gratitude Journals, Yes or No?

A few years ago gratitude journals were all the rage. At first I resisted keeping one...too trendy. Then I decided I needed a mood upgrade, so why not? I hated it. Every day I would sit down, think about my day, and try to think of five things to write down. Usually I was pretty grumpy about the whole exercise, and some days I struggled to think of five things. I know this says more about me and my state of mind, than about gratitude journals, but the simple act of writing five things down did nothing for my mental state. In fact, for every thing I did write down, I could usually think of five things I was not grateful for. We were living in an old house, and it didn't have any heat runs from the furnace to the only bathroom. When we were having some upgrades done on the furnace closet, the contractor said it would be very simple to run heat to the bathroom. For weeks that winter, the only thing I was thankful for every day was heat in the bathroom.  So why didn't keeping a gratitude journal work for me? Why could I be profoundly grateful for heat in the bathroom, but be unable to think of a few things each day to write down?

An article at The Greater Good (run by the University of California-Berkeley) gives some insight. It reports that research studies show gratitude journals don't always work, so my experience was not unique.  In fact, certain things can help you have a better experience with journaling. First, a motivation to become happier is helpful (clearly I was lacking any serious motivation to change my attitude at that point in time). Secondly, go for depth over breadth.  Instead of thinking of five things each time, thinking in detail about one or two things you are really grateful for can be more effective.  Third, don't feel pressure to write daily. Maybe once a week would work better for you. Lastly, try focusing on people you are grateful for rather than things.

At my current stage in life, I find it much easier to think of things for which I am truly grateful, and often, these "things" are the actions of other people. I am grateful for those who have a positive impact on the lives of my children. I am grateful for the many kindnesses people have shown to me. When I list these things on a very specific, personal level, I feel blessed indeed. And I think I will always be grateful for heat in the bathroom.

Will I ever keep a gratitude journal again? Right now I don't have specific plans to, but I do try to write about things I am grateful for in my regular journal.  The exercise of thinking through my week and finding the thing that was a blessing in my life helps me be aware of all the good things happening around me. In a world that sometimes seems dark and chaotic, taking time for gratitude is truly a healing gift.

Do you keep a gratitude journal? If so, what works best for you?

Have a wonderful week living in Thanksgiving!

Living in Thanksgiving - Perception & Gratitude

Living in Thanksgiving - How Grateful Are You?

Living in Thanksgiving - Perception & Gratitude

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."  --John Milton

Perception is a key component of gratitude. I look at perception in two ways...first, I am more grateful if I pay more attention to the things I see and the things I have, and second, I am more grateful if I am more aware of my own situation.  

When I take the time to notice a flower in bloom or a bird singing, I have a more grateful heart. So for this month, as I work on being more grateful, I am committed to noticing beauty around me.

Although I am uncomfortable comparing myself to others as a way of navigating life, I do find that being aware of worse situations can make me appreciate my own. For example, when I talked to people during chemotherapy treatments, I often went away being grateful for the realization that if I had to have cancer, at least I had a kind for which there were pretty effective treatments.  When my son was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, I learned to be grateful that he did not have a life-threatening disease. I don't think it is necessary to compare myself to others to see these things, but becoming more aware of what other people are dealing with makes me more comfortable with, and more appreciative of my own situation. 

So, for this week, I am going to be more aware of what I do have, and not focus on what I don't have. Appreciating my blessings in life greatly increases my feelings of gratitude!

For more on gratitude see Living in Thanksgiving - How Grateful Are You?

and Living in Thanksgiving - Gratitude Journals, Yes or No?

Living in Thanksgiving - How Grateful Are You?

Every November, about half way through the month, I realize that I wish I were reflecting more on being thankful and expressing gratitude. It usually hits me when I realize friends have been expressing thanks daily for things in their lives via social media. I often think "Oh, I wish I had done that."  I want Thanksgiving to be more than the speed bump between Halloween and Christmas. So, this year, I am working on cultivating an attitude of gratitude throughout the month of November. I am hopeful that working on this intentionally for a month will give me good habits for the upcoming year.

Why gratitude? According to an article "In Praise of Gratitude" found in a health newsletter from Harvard, gratitude and happiness are linked. It says "In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships." In other words, gratitude helps with all of your basic life skills. Who wouldn't want to feel more positive, enjoy life more, have better coping skills, and have better relationships and health?

Of course, in order to make improvements in life, it is valuable to assess where you are right now. I found a gratitude quiz to measure my current "attitude of gratitude."  I scored a respectable 85% on this quiz, and feel that I am on my way to appreciating life more fully this month.

When I was in high school, a good friend introduced me to a book by legendary basketball coach John Wooden. It was called "They Call Me Coach," and contained many of Wooden's experiences, and also his philosophy of living. I remember being very impressed by Wooden's attention to living life well. He wanted to develop people, not just winning basketball players.  To start off my month of gratitude, here is a quote from John Wooden. It is a great blueprint for my month, and for life.

Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day. -- John Wooden

Join me on my gratitude quest this month, and spend some time reflecting on the things for which you might give thanks.

See also Living in Thanksgiving - Perception and Gratitude and Living in Thanksgiving - Gratitude Journals, Yes or No?

The Art of Living in Thanksgiving

Illustration from N.C. Wyeth's Pilgrims

"Thou hast given so much to me,

Give one thing more, - a grateful heart;

Not thankful when it pleaseth me,

As if Thy blessings had spare days,

But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise."

--George Herbert

As I reflect on my many blessings this year, I have decided that it is a true gift to live in Thanksgiving daily.  These past few months have brought so many things to my life.  I have entered a world of cancer patients, and those who care for them.  I have been overwhelmed by kindness, competence, generosity, nurturing, gifts, compassion, empathy, advice, and laughter.  Overall, I have found much for which to be grateful.  I have always been told that I could choose my own attitude in my life, but for some reason, I have always had a long list of rationalizations as to why I really was not in control of my own attitude.  Or rather, I was constantly justifying my bad attitude.  But I notice the more grateful I am, the better life is, and so living in Thanksgiving daily is something worth pursuing.  I hope you all have a wonderful celebration with people you love, and that blessings will surround you and wash over you throughout this day and the upcoming year.  Happy Thanksgiving!