National Poetry Month - Spring Rain by Sara Teasdale

Spring Rain, New York - by John French Sloan, 1912

Yes, it is that time again! Poetry for National Poetry Month. I love Sara Teasdale, and here is one of her poems that fits the season (and the stormy weather I have had over spring break!)

Spring Rain 

by Sara Teasdale

I thought I had forgotten,
But it all came back again
To-night with the first spring thunder
In a rush of rain.

I remembered a darkened doorway
Where we stood while the storm swept by,
Thunder gripping the earth
And lightning scrawled on the sky.

The passing motor busses swayed,
For the street was a river of rain,
Lashed into little golden waves
In the lamp light's stain.

With the wild spring rain and thunder
My heart was wild and gay;
Your eyes said more to me that night
Than your lips would ever say. . . .

I thought I had forgotten,
But it all came back again
To-night with the first spring thunder
In a rush of rain.

Sara Teasdale (1884 - 1933) was an American poet. 

Check out some other fabulous poems featured in my other blog posts!

National Poetry Month - William Blake

National Poetry Month - Gerald Manley Hopkins

National Poetry Month - Emily Dickinson

National Poetry Month - Billy Collins

National Poetry Month - Langston Hughes

National Poetry Month - Walt Whitman

National Poetry Month - Sara Teasdale (There Will Come Soft Rains)

National Poetry Month -  Thomas Hardy

DIEP Decisions! - Diep Flap Reconstruction

When dealing with breast cancer, decisions are deeply personal and individual. I remember being shell-shocked and overwhelmed in the aftermath of my initial diagnosis, and I found myself sitting in the office of a plastic surgeon wondering what on earth I was doing there. How strange it was to be talking about appearances when I wasn't even sure the extent of my diagnosis or what treatments I would be facing.  Fortunately for me, my medical team knew more about this process than I did. My general surgeon sent me immediately to a plastic surgeon even though I was still reeling from the lumpectomy/mastectomy choice. And my plastic surgeon patiently explained what my best reconstructive options were, and then added those magic words that I really needed to hear..."but you don't have to make any decisions right now, and you don't have to do reconstruction at all, and you don't have to do it right away. You can wait a year, or five years, or more." He gave me a precious commodity in that moment...he gave me time.

Relieved, I agreed to his recommendation to have a tissue expander as a "place holder" put in immediately during my mastectomy. Immediate reconstruction was not an option for me, as I did not know if I needed radiation treatments until the pathology results came back after surgery. I had a "skin-sparing" mastectomy at the end of July 2012. Although I know some women are quite fearful of waking up without a breast, I was happy to wake up without cancer! The advantage of a skin-sparing mastectomy is that most of your own healthy skin is retained, and the scar is minimal. I was actually pretty impressed with how good my plastic surgeon made it look. However, I did not want to face more surgeries, and was pretty sure I would take the simplest route possible as far as reconstruction went.

When my general surgeon called with the pathology results, he let me know I was getting the "kitchen sink" as far as treatments went:  chemotherapy, radiation, and herceptin.  I continued to see my plastic surgeon while waiting to get my drains removed. In light of my upcoming radiation treatments, he recommended either a LAT flap reconstruction with an implant, or an autologous DIEP flap reconstruction. The LAT flap, he explained, was a smaller commitment up front (shorter surgery, quicker recovery time, etc.), but came with a longer term commitment as I would probably need regular implant replacements throughout my life. He said the life span of an implant is typically about 10-12 years, but after radiation I would have more issues with scarring, and that time might be shortened to as few as 7 years. (A LAT flap reconstruction uses your latissimus dorsi muscle to wrap the implant and protect it from scarring.) The DIEP flap, on the other hand, was a bigger commitment up front (longer surgery, longer recovery, etc.) but is considered a lifetime solution for breast reconstruction. My surgeon said he would not do any surgery until at least 6 months after radiation, again giving me plenty of time to make a decision.

During chemotherapy, I saw my plastic surgeon regularly (more frequently than my oncologist!) for "fills" of my tissue expander. He was great to work around the days when I felt worst during chemo, and always assured me we could slow the expansion rate if I so desired. He completed the expansions before my radiation treatments started. Why not do reconstruction before radiation? Radiation damages tissue. It damages skin, blood vessels, and more, and the effects continue for years. Two of my doctors called it "the gift that keeps on giving." My plastic surgeon said he was not going to put healthy tissue from either type of flap reconstruction in my chest only to have it radiated. Instead, he would wait until my body recovered from the immediate effects of the treatments. I wasn't ready to make a reconstruction choice anyway, so that was fine with me.

Chemotherapy changed my outlook. After chemo, I was certain of two things:  one, I hated my tissue expander and did not want an implant, and two, I could handle anything...nothing seemed scary anymore. I saw my plastic surgeon shortly after completing radiation treatments. My radiation oncologist said the effects on my skin were about average, and he was actually pretty pleased with how well my body had tolerated the treatments. My plastic surgeon, on the other hand, said "That skin is still quite pink!" I guess it is all a matter of perspective. We talked about reconstruction again, and he told me to see him about 2 months before I wanted reconstruction, and I went home to heal.

Meanwhile, being a slightly compulsive person, I began researching. I watched a condensed version of my surgery on "OR Live" (not for the squeamish!), and I actually found that to be greatly reassuring. Unlike my own delayed reconstruction, this one was an immediate reconstruction, but I still found watching the microsurgery procedure fascinating.

After a time out for a broken ankle, a surgery to repair it, and physical therapy,  I saw my plastic surgeon again. He did another fill on my tissue expander.  Radiated skin, he explained, may look healthy, but it is not. By stressing the skin with another fill, he gave it a chance to heal and start responding more normally. I was surprised to see how my post-radiation skin reacted to this expansion. It became slightly pink again in the radiated field, and it was very itchy. After about a week, things calmed down and went back to normal, but now I could literally see what my plastic surgeon was talking about.

He ordered a CT scan for me, and I went and had the scan with contrast at a local hospital. This would allow him to see the blood vessels in my chest and abdomen. A DIEP flap reconstruction takes fat and skin from your abdomen, and transfers it to your chest. Blood vessels from the flap are attached to blood vessels in the chest during microsurgery. It is a delicate procedure, and adds to the length of surgery time.  At my pre-surgical consult, he showed me the results of my scan, identifying blood vessels that were the best candidates. He said once in surgery, they would confirm which blood vessels to use by a visual inspection as well as by using the CT scan.

Some things to remember when choosing a surgeon for your DIEP flap reconstruction:

Plastic surgeons have to undergo further training in microsurgery in order to do a DIEP flap. It is recommended that any surgeon you choose has performed many (100-200) flap procedures. It is also recommended that you have a scan of your blood vessels prior to surgery, and that two surgeons perform the surgery.  Do get recommendations from your medical team. Do look at before and after pictures of their work.

My surgeon has coordinated to do my surgery with another microsurgeon he has worked with many times before. I asked him who would be doing what during my surgery. He said he would work on my abdominal flap and blood vessels supplying that tissue, while the other surgeon would remove the tissue expander (yay!) and access the blood vessels in my chest. Then both surgeons would work together under the microscope to connect my flap to the blood supply in my chest. After the connections are made, my surgeon will shape the transferred flap, while the other surgeon closes my abdomen. If your surgeon does not work with another surgeon, does not regularly do DIEP flap surgeries, or says he will give you either a DIEP flap OR a TRAM flap, you might want to get another opinion.

While this is a major surgery, the success rate is extremely high. Most surgeons boast at least a 97% success rate. Although my surgeon reminds me that if the flap fails, it is a 100% failure for me, he does have a very high success rate. When making a decision about a DIEP flap, I think it is wise to research your doctor, ask a lot of questions, familiarize yourself with all your options, and consider what is best for you. Good luck with the decision making process! I am convinced this is the right choice for me, and now that I am a year removed from radiation, I am glad I had time to not only make the decision, but also time to work on getting physically stronger after all my cancer treatments. I think the better shape I am in going into this surgery, the better my recovery will be. Do eat right and continue to exercise right up until the day of surgery. I will let you know how it all goes!

My planned hospital stay will be as follows:

Monday - surgery

Monday night - ICU to monitor the flap

Tuesday afternoon/evening - move to a room in the hospital. On Tuesday I should also be able to begin eating, and I believe they will also get me up out of bed, either to walk, or sit in a chair.

It is a planned 3-4 day hospital stay. I will be able to shower and eat normally while still in the hospital. 

I will have 3 drains (two abdominal drains, and one in the chest).

I am not planning on taking anything to the hospital the morning of surgery except my glasses. When I am moved to a room, I will make sure my husband brings me a lightweight robe, a book, chapstick, my mp3 player, my phone, and maybe slippers. I will also pack loose clothes and slip-on shoes for the ride home later that week. My surgeon said he will have me wear an abdominal binder after surgery for the first few weeks.  I am lucky to have several surgeons and a couple of different hospitals where this procedure is performed within a few miles of my home, so I don't have to worry about traveling to have this done. As more surgeons begin doing DIEP flap reconstruction, hopefully you will have options close to home as well.

Also, in case it isn't obvious, know that your surgeon will take before and after photos of you, and your surgeon will also draw on you prior to your surgery. When you wake up from your surgery, you will likely be connected to an IV, oxygen, drains, compression "stockings" on your legs, and a catheter. The general risks of surgery and anesthesia still apply for a DIEP flap reconstruction. However, I am grateful this option is available, and have heard it said that this is the "gold standard" for breast reconstruction.

FOR INFO ON MY SURGERY AND RECOVERY:
Diep Flap Surgery and Hospital Stay

Good information about DIEP flap surgery can be found at the links below:
Diep Sisters (has a list of surgeons in the U.S and Canada...good place to start if you don't have a referral from your general surgeon)
Breastcancer.org
Diep Flap - Johns Hopkins
Diep Flap in Utah

Diep flap blogs:
Gingerbread Guts
Diep Flap Surgery for Dummies

John Steinbeck's 112th Birthday and The Moon is Down

John Steinbeck

I confess I love John Steinbeck's writing style, but find many of his stories depressing. I first encountered Steinbeck as a child when I read "The Red Pony." Not a happy story for a horse-loving kid! In high school, I read "The Pearl," and watched "Of Mice and Men."  That sort of cured me of Steinbeck until adulthood. When I saw an interview with a Steinbeck descendant explaining that the author usually wrote about a character making a pivotal choice, I could at last appreciate his skill.

While browsing shelves at the library recently, I came across a slim Steinbeck novel with the intriguing title: "The Moon is Down." This short book was printed during World War 2 and is Steinbeck's salute to democracy and the power of the individual. It was written as a wartime morale booster. While the book received mixed reviews in the United States, it was popular in Norway, Denmark, Holland, Italy, and much of war-torn Europe. Intrigued with this introduction, I picked up the book and took it home to read.

Steinbeck's novel tells the story of an unspecified town occupied by the Germans during war. It opens with the arrival of the occupying force. Steinbeck's characters are well-drawn, and represent the complexities of individual reactions in such circumstances. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Near the end of the novel, as the occupying force wonders if they have defeated the resistance, one of the townsfolk observes "....but we are a free people; we have as many heads as we have people, and in a time of need leaders pop up among us like mushrooms."

I think there are people in countries today for whom these words would resonate. In that respect, "The Moon is Down" is timeless.

In honor of Steinbeck's 112th birthday, what is your favorite Steinbeck novel?

Mining Gems - Accounting and Memory

Amethyst

I am a procrastinator. I think I have come to terms with that over the years. So, this week, I am catching up massive amounts of accounting in order to do my taxes. Yes, unlike you organized folks, I spend a tremendous amount of time digging through messes to find my documents. Then begins the project of getting all the information input in my accounting program. It is not my favorite task. But surprisingly enough, this year I am enjoying re-discovering 2013.

Stonehenge

Tucked between payments for the mortgage, groceries, utilities, and doctors are little reminders of good things last year: travel swim meets to St. George and Logan, lunch with friends in Cedar City, and trips my children took to Arches National Park and England. There are also payments for the entrance fee to Zion National Park during spring break. We stayed with family and have great memories of that little trip. I can also see that our entertainment expenditures featured Redbox instead of a movie theater on several occasions. I wish my check register could tell me what movies we saw! And that is just the first few months of 2013. Who knows what else I may remember as I slave over these numbers?

Zion National Park

I am sporadic at best at keeping a journal, and sometimes I feel guilty about that, but this experience is teaching me I do have some records of past events. I never thought of my check register as an historical document, but as I mine it for tax information, I am finding many precious gems!

If you are digging through receipts for tax preparation, I wish you happy mining!

Road to Sochi - U.S. Speedskating Olympic Trials 2014

Track records on the fastest ice on earth - Utah Olympic Oval

I love living in an Olympic city. Salt Lake City is the only Olympic host city still using all of its venues more than ten years after the 2002 Olympic Games. I was looking for something fun to do over Christmas break with the family, and was thrilled to find out several sports were having their U.S. Olympic trials in Utah venues.  We chose to spend an evening at the short-track speedskating competition.

Torchbearer at the Kearns Olympic Oval

I discovered that I could get two for one tickets to this competition if we wore either 2002 Winter Olympic gear, or Utah sports logo wear. Time to haul out the torchbearer jacket! We got the whole family in to the Olympic trials for $4 a person. Bargain entertainment, if you ask me!  Before we went into the Olympic Oval, we walked around the "Road to Sochi" booths and tried our hand at sliding on a sheet designed to mimic speed skating. Other booths included curling, and a photo opportunity in a bobsled.  We also picked up trading cards.

Probably the closest I will come to bobsledding!

We headed inside and chose general admission seats on the curve. Speedskating athletes zoom by very quickly (in short-track, a lap takes only 8 seconds) and I wanted to take photos. The curve is a natural place for shooting pictures.  I loved seeing all the flags hanging from the rafters. We also saw team members from Kazakhstan. I am assuming they are spending some pre-Olympic time training in Salt Lake City.

Athletes warming up before the competition - Utah Olympic Oval

I saw the 1500 meter competition the night I went to the ice sheet.  The skaters competed in semi-final rounds, and then there were 3 finals (C, B and A). After a break, the whole process repeated, so these athletes raced a 1500 four times during the time we were there.  Short-track speedskating is appealing because it is visually stunning as the athletes round the curve. There is an artistry to the way they line up, and the angles at which they skate are incredible. It also has all the intensity of high speed and potential chaos. Since J.R. Celski was injured four years ago (his leg was sliced by a skate blade), short track competition suits have added a layer of  Kevlar to protect these athletes from the razor sharp skate blades if they fall. Crashes are a part of the competition. If your skate blade crosses the finish line first, you win, even if you are no longer standing when you cross the line.

Beauty of short track

We found seats by "Team Celski" who were out in force cheering for J.R.   Eddy Alvarez, who trains in Salt Lake City also, was another crowd favorite. I sat in front of a lady planning to spend 3 weeks in Russia at the 2014 Olympic Games. She had attended Winter Olympics in Salt Lake, Vancouver, and Torino. We were also near Jessica Smith's mom. After Jessica won the first A final of the 1500, we congratulated her mother, who informed us she had to do it all again in the second session. But no stress for the mom! It was great to watch her face as she watched her daughter compete.

Short-track is exciting, and I was torn between taking photos (which I love to do), and watching the race for the quick passes an athlete makes to go from the middle of the pack to the front.

Jessica Smith (red helmet) getting ready to make a move.

Jessica Smith takes the lead.

Between sessions we wandered the Oval, got snacks, and met long-track speedskating Olympic team members who had competed earlier in the week.  We got autographed photos and wished them well in Sochi.

Part of Team USA:  Heather Richardson, Sugar Todd, Joey Mantia, and Brian Hansen

Long-track Speedskating

We found ourselves rooting for Eddy Alvarez, who had also overcome injuries to compete in this Olympic trials. And of course, it was easy to join with Team Celski cheering for J.R.

Eddy Alvarez prepares for his final.

The men's 1500 heats up.

J.R. Celski gives love to his fans after his race.

When the Olympic trials were over, the US had 3 women and 5 men named to the short-track team.  The women won't have a relay this year, but we will still be cheering for all our U.S. athletes as they compete in Sochi. We were fortunate to see short-track speedskating at the 2002 Winter Olympics, and I loved watching this sport in person again.

The following athletes will represent Team USA for short-track speedskating:  (Women) Alyson Dudek, Jessica Smith, and Emily Scott.  (Men) J.R. Celski, Eddy Alvarez, Chris Creveling, Jordan Malone and Kyle Carr.

Short-track Speedskating U.S. Olympic Trials 2014

The Art of New Year's Resolutions - 2014

Boats at Versailles

I think everyone loves the idea of a fresh start, and that is the appeal of making resolutions on January 1. It seems, though, that most resolutions fail, so I often find myself wondering if I should bother. However, I am fresh off the success of last year's resolution to "read more books," and I am feeling motivated to accomplish some things in 2014!

Why do resolutions fail? In doing research, it seems that most fail either by being too large, too small, too vague,or too unattainable. I also read, however, that people are resistant to change, so making a long list of resolutions that require big changes in your life may not give you the best chances at success.

Goals that are written and planned out are more likely to be kept. Success with resolutions is also linked to accountability, and that is why I am writing my goals in this blog!

For me, this year, I am choosing to improve on some things, and to add back in to my life things that I enjoy. I would love to make a resolution to spend 4 months touring Europe this year, but since I know that one isn't going to happen, I am choosing more reachable goals. In 2014, I want better balance. I am setting goals in different areas of my life:  physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and artistic.  Thank goodness I have been going to the gym regularly for the last 3 months, so I don't have to make that a new goal!

Physically, I plan to keep exercising, and to get enough water to drink! Believe it or not, I actually have to work at staying hydrated. I am tempted to commit to a 5K race, but the last two times I did that, I ended up having to drop out (cancer treatments in 2012 and a broken ankle in 2013). So this year, I am NOT committing to the 5K and am hopeful that publicly NOT committing will give me better results. If my body cooperates and gets through the next several months in good form, there is a hike I have always wanted to do just calling my name.

Intellectually, I am going to learn some new computer skills (Excel), define my TBR (to be read list) and commit to reading certain books this year. I also wouldn't mind reading more books than last year (I read 66 in 2013). On my list so far are "Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns Goodwin and "Gift From the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. There are so many books on my shelf waiting to be read! Here are 5 more I am committing to read this year:  "Night" by Elie Wiesel, "The Kitchen House" by Kathleen Grissom, "Off the Map: A Journey Through the Amazon Wild" by John Harrison, "Custom of the Country" by Edith Wharton, and "Much Ado About Nothing" by William Shakespeare.

For my emotional goals, I am going to do something each month to connect with friends and family in a non-electronic way. This means going to lunch, having people over to play games, writing actual notes and letters, planning specific things to do with my husband and children, etc.

Spiritually, I am going to make time daily for prayer and scripture study. This is sort of a constant goal for me, and at times I do it really well. Sometimes I lapse, and that is why this one is always on the list!

And on the creative side, I am going to draw, write, and finish a couple of nagging projects (a scrapbook for my daughter and a cross-stitch Christmas stocking for my son).  Now, just a thought about the whole drawing thing. I am married to an artist (hence the title of the blog). Not just any artist, but a really talented, skilled, professional, recognition-earning artist. I know people who don't want to play Pictionary with him because...well...they find it intimidating. So, for me to say "I am going to draw" is a big deal. I have dabbled in art over the years. I took classes in high school. I have taken a couple of classes on the side since then. Mostly I have a love-hate relationship with art.  I have never worked at it enough to get what I see in my head and what my hand puts down on paper to look the same (many of you know what I am talking about). But when I leave art for long periods of time, I miss it. In 2014, I am going to do that drawing of the boats in the pond at Versailles that I have wanted to do since I took the photos in 2008. I am going to draw some birds in my birding journal. And the best part of all is that I know my art-husband will be my biggest fan!

Henry David Thoreau said "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

I am excited to get going on these goals this year! What are you imagining in 2014?

Christmas Scavenger Hunt - A Wonderful Family Tradition

Scavenger Hunt clue in my pantry.

It began simply enough. My daughter decided one year to do a scavenger hunt for her brothers so that they had to take some time to locate their gifts on Christmas morning. It was fun, and added a nice twist to the day. Fast forward a few years, and the annual scavenger hunt has grown and expanded. Rather than focusing on what they are going to get for Christmas, I find my children squirreled away in the weeks before the celebration crafting elaborate clues and challenges for one another. On Christmas Eve, people sneak around hiding envelopes around our home...inside and out. Yes, if you want to participate in the annual scavenger hunt, you might want to have your outdoor gear handy on Christmas morning!

First comic for this year's Amazing Ugly Race

The scavenger hunts can be simple (about 5 clues) or rather elaborate (10 clues with activities and challenges associated with them). Some years they are based loosely on our favorite reality TV show... The Amazing Race. Scavenger hunt clues often involve detailed comic art featuring another family favorite, Uglydolls.  This year we even had a zombie theme in one of the scavenger hunts. (It ended up fitting with the gift).  I love the Christmas scavenger hunts for many reasons. First, my kids are more focused on giving a unique experience to their siblings than they are on themselves at Christmas time. Second, this family tradition is completely kid generated...they thought of it, they create it, and we are the camera-wielding bystanders.  Third, it makes Christmas morning last longer. Grab your shoes and your Nerf guns, and let the games begin!

It all begins with an envelope under the Christmas tree.

This year's scavenger hunts even had a "Korean" edition.  I have a son doing missionary work for our church in South Korea for the next two years.This first Christmas away from home, he sent a gift and a scavenger hunt for his younger brother. It was an unexpected Christmas bonus.  The kids find their first clue in an envelope under the Christmas tree, and then the fun really begins.

Opening clue for the Zombie Apocalypse Training scavenger hunt

Like the Amazing Race on TV, our Christmas morning scavenger hunts may include roadblocks (you have to complete a task), detours (you get to choose between two tasks to complete), and U-turns (you have to do both tasks of the detour). One task this year was to make a paper boat and float a Lego mini figure in it. It didn't have to be pretty, just functional, and you could only use a minimal amount of tape.

Lego mini-figure in a paper boat.

Clues may also include references to a favorite book or movie that the kids recognize. For 2013, clues were found in "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks, and  in "Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians" by Brandon Sanderson.

Clue #5 was found inside a book.

My son designed and built a contraption out of Lego parts for this year's hunt. His sister had to shoot a zombie target. When she hit the target, her gift tumbled out. It was a zombie movie, of course! (Warm Bodies).

Zombie Target

Shooting Nerf darts at the zombie in the kitchen

Success! Target hit, gift delivered.

No scavenger hunt would be complete without the presence of Thok. Thok is a Bionicle, and he has been a key part of our scavenger hunts for years. Since his Bionicle power is ice, he is often found in the freezer.

Thok holds a clue in the freezer.

Other popular locations for stashing clues include the island in the kitchen, and the cookie jar. It seems these hiding places have become part of the tradition.

Clue by the cookie jar (someone else's gift is inside the jar).

And it just wouldn't be the same if we didn't have to go outside at least once on Christmas morning. This year, my son got to dig in the snow, and climb a tree before locating the correct clues for his gifts.

Looking for clues in the snow.

Umm....shoes, anyone?

This year, there were several clues in the cherry tree that said "Try Again." Unfortunately for my son, he grabbed the first paper and ran back to the house. Then he noticed it said "Try Again," and he had to go back out to the tree. Eventually he just climbed the tree and collected all of the papers. He did find his clue, and I don't think he got frostbitten!

Getting clues out of the tree.

I am thrilled these scavenger hunts have become a favorite family tradition. Especially since almost no effort is involved on my part! After all the hard work of pulling off a family Christmas, I just get to sit back and enjoy the show.

Clue in a Lego mailbox

My son followed a clue to the mailbox, but didn't find what he was looking for inside. His next clue was actually tucked into a Lego mailbox set up in our Lego Christmas village. Another clue was hidden in a nutcracker's mouth (a Viking nutcracker we call Thor).

Another clue in the nutcracker's mouth.

This clue included a word scramble.

I am so glad my daughter decided one year to do a scavenger hunt for her brothers. I am even more happy that they loved it so much, they now all do it for each other. It is fun for the whole family, and something I look forward to each Christmas. As my kids grow older and approach leaving the nest, I know my spectator days may be drawing to a close for these scavenger hunts, but I hope they continue the tradition for many years to come!

Gift located in a desk drawer!

Close Enough Christmas!

Christmas candles

In the past, I have wanted the perfect Christmas. And I have been frustrated when I couldn't get done everything I wanted to do.  There has never been enough time, enough money, enough energy, etc., etc., etc. But this year is different.

This year, we only put up part of the Christmas lights. The elements combined to give us snow and 20 degree weather for weeks, and it was too slippery to climb the roof and do all of the lights. But the colored lights and red bows on the porch railing are pretty, especially with the snow.

Homemade Christmas house

This year, our Christmas tree did not have a lot of branches to cut off at the base, so there isn't a homemade fresh wreath hanging on the door. There is an inexpensive knit Christmas stocking, and it looks festive against our red door.

This year, I didn't write a Christmas newsletter. I have enjoyed crafting one in the past, trying to keep it fun and succinct. But this year, when I was ordering photo cards online, I found I could summarize our year in a few sentences on the back of the card, and it was great! We all sat and signed the cards as a family, and I really enjoyed that.

This year, my house isn't de-cluttered, and it won't be spotless for the party we will host on Christmas Eve. This year, all of the decorations didn't get put up...just the favorites. And the house looks great. I am enjoying my tree, my nativities, my handmade decorations, the Lego village on our shelves, and the poinsettia I picked up at the store.  So what if there aren't extra lights and garlands adorning our dining room?

Part of our Lego Christmas decor

This year, we have fewer presents under the tree. The shopping got done early, and I kept it simple. I have very little left to wrap.

This year, the neighbor gifts were simpler. My grandmother used to make trays heaping with a variety of cookies at Christmastime, and we would munch on these delectable treats over Christmas break. In her honor, I like making treat plates to give to neighbors. I have never come close to her level of baking, and some years, the strain of trying to make multiple treats for everyone has been overwhelming.  This year, we gave simple treats to a few close friends and neighbors, and I enjoyed the experience.

This year, I am enjoying saying thank you to people. This year, I am listening to more Christmas music. This year I am gathering with my family around a table to play board games, or to cuddle on the couch to watch Christmas movies. This year I am keeping the food for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day simple.

One of our nativities

This year, I am focusing more on the things that are important to me as we celebrate Christ's birth, instead of counting the things I couldn't do. This year, Christmas is close enough...and it is better than ever!

May you have a very Merry  Christmas!

Book Warp 3: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

"The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world."  So begins The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, by Barbara Robinson.  When the Herdmans hear there is food available at church, they show up to Sunday school, and volunteer to be in the annual Christmas pageant. The Herdmans have never heard the nativity story, the other children are afraid of them, and the regular pageant director is out with a broken leg.  The pageant is in danger of being a disaster.

This little book is only 80 pages long, and reads very quickly. It is hilarious and touching at the same time, as the reader sees the Christmas story through the fresh eyes of the Herdman children. They put their own spin on the annual pageant, and in doing so, make those around them think about the Christmas story in new ways.

I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting this book.  Author Barbara Robinson grew up in a small town, and says that influenced her writing. Her fast paced style and quick wit make this book a great Christmas read for all ages.

Happy Reading!

See also:

Book Warp 2:  The Changeling by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

Book Warp 1: Reading Blue Willow

Christmas Song Confessions

Christmas music is omnipresent in December, so I thought I would share my Christmas song confessions with you.

I hate listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

I wish radio stations would continue to play Christmas music after Christmas, until New Year's Eve. I find the transition back to the regular radio formats immediately after Christmas is jarring.

It is not enough for me to like a particular Christmas song...it also matters to me who is singing it. There are some versions of songs that I cannot abide.

I don't understand why "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music gets played as a Christmas song.

I like Mannheim Steamroller's  "Deck the Halls" and "Stille Nacht."

I can take "funny" Christmas songs in very small doses, like "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" or "The Twelve Pains of Christmas."

There are some songs I look forward to every Christmas. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order:

1.    O Holy Night - Nat King Cole or Josh Groban

2.  Little Drummer Boy - but only the Bob Seger OR Bing Crosby/David Bowie versions

3.  Santa Claus is Coming To Town - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

4.  Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2

5.  God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings - Barenaked Ladies & Sarah Mclachlan

6.  For Unto Us a Child is Born - from Handel's Messiah

And here are some of the Christmas songs I could do without!

1. Christmas Shoes - Newsong
2. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - anyone
3. Happy Xmas (War is Over) - John Lennon
4. Please Come Home for Christmas - the Eagles
5. The Holly & The Ivy

Which Christmas songs are your favorites? Which ones are on your "worst" list?

Happy Thanksgiving!

J.C. Leyendecker

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful to live in a beautiful place. I am thankful for safety, security, and freedom to worship. I am thankful for a roof over my head and food to eat. I am thankful to be done with cancer treatments. I am thankful for laughter, autumn skies, snow in the mountains, pizza, Lindor chocolate, and books. I am thankful for parents who love me.  I am thankful for sisters who are my best friends. I am thankful for a wonderful husband and three terrific kids. I am thankful for technology that lets me communicate with my son halfway around the world. I am thankful for my heritage. I am thankful for good friends and neighbors. I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

May you have many reasons to give thanks on this day.

Living in Thanksgiving - Expressing Gratitude

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.                                                          --Albert Schweitzer

I love this quote! I have been thinking a lot lately about people who have rekindled a spark within me when I needed it most, or who have made some small gesture that meant the world to me. I don't know that I ever tell them thank you. 

Positive Psychology News has this to say about thank you notes:

"... a thank you note is a mini-dose of a full-blown gratitude letter or gratitude journal.  It is also an opportunity to flex your gratitude strength— a chance to practice one of the strengths of transcendence."  

We exercise other muscles to grow stronger, so why not exercise your gratitude strength as well? This week in my month of Living in Thanksgiving, I am focusing on expressing gratitude. Make it a habit to sincerely thank people who do something for you. Often, a verbal thank you in the moment will suffice. But written notes are effective, too. One thing I have learned about writing thank you notes is that when I stop and think through what the person has done for me, and how much I appreciate it, it lifts me. So in some ways, writing thank you notes is self-serving...a way to elevate yourself. Now, I can procrastinate thank you notes with the best of them, but this week I am going to be better about written thank yous. 

Thank You Notes and Positive Psychology" says:

Remember to tell the gift-giver that you are thankful not only for the gift, but also for their thinking of you.  Make it personal and sincere.  Tell them how you are looking forward to experiencing their gift.  Even if you don’t love the gift, there are other ways to let them know you appreciate the thought.  In these tough economic times, acknowledge their generosity.  Let them know that you look forward to seeing them again soon.  Mind them, make them feel important and loved.  In giving you the gift, they made you feel special.
You can, and should, return the favor.

Think of those who have been examples to you, who have supported you in times of trouble, or who have rekindled your "spark" when you needed it. I have been reflecting on some of these people all week, and now I have some thank you notes to write!  Enjoy basking in gratitude this week!

Living in Thanksgiving - How Grateful Are You?
Living in Thanksgiving - Perception and Gratitude
Living in Thanksgiving - Gratitude Journals, Yes or No?
The Art of Living in Thanksgiving 

The Gettysburg Address at 150!

Lincoln Memorial

The little speech now known as "The Gettysburg Address" turns 150 years old today. Lincoln said his words would not be long remembered, but when Senator Charles Sumner eulogized the president in 1865, he said "The world noted at once what he said, and will never cease to remember it. The battle itself was less important than the speech."  (from Abraham Lincoln online).

Like many people, I had to memorize this speech in elementary school. Although I did not fully appreciate it as a fourth grader, many of the words did resonate with me, and I can still remember parts of the speech. Over the weekend, I was at a college football game, and during halftime, the crowd was asked to stand and repeat the Gettysburgh address in unison. What an experience! Lincoln's words are still masterful. This speech was carefully crafted, not scribbled on a train ride as is sometimes reported.

As I repeated the words on Saturday, some things stood out to me:  the fact that Lincoln had no idea that his speech would be famous, and that he coined our famous phraseology that our government is "of the people, by the people, and for the people." I couldn't help but think that our government representatives could stand to be reminded that they govern "for the people!"

Pulitzer Prize winning author of "Lincoln at Gettysburg: Words that Remade America," Gary Wills points out that Lincoln's speech has become the accepted interpretation of our Declaration of Independence and Constitution, putting forth the idea that America must stand united. He indicates that the idea that Americans needed to be a united people and have a basis of equality has helped shape the country that we are today.

In honor of the 150th anniversary of Lincoln's remarkable words, take a minute today and read the Gettysburg Address.  The text that follows is known as the Bliss Copy of the speech.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863

Happy Anniversary, Gettysburg Address!

Living in Thanksgiving - Gratitude Journals, Yes or No?

A few years ago gratitude journals were all the rage. At first I resisted keeping one...too trendy. Then I decided I needed a mood upgrade, so why not? I hated it. Every day I would sit down, think about my day, and try to think of five things to write down. Usually I was pretty grumpy about the whole exercise, and some days I struggled to think of five things. I know this says more about me and my state of mind, than about gratitude journals, but the simple act of writing five things down did nothing for my mental state. In fact, for every thing I did write down, I could usually think of five things I was not grateful for. We were living in an old house, and it didn't have any heat runs from the furnace to the only bathroom. When we were having some upgrades done on the furnace closet, the contractor said it would be very simple to run heat to the bathroom. For weeks that winter, the only thing I was thankful for every day was heat in the bathroom.  So why didn't keeping a gratitude journal work for me? Why could I be profoundly grateful for heat in the bathroom, but be unable to think of a few things each day to write down?

An article at The Greater Good (run by the University of California-Berkeley) gives some insight. It reports that research studies show gratitude journals don't always work, so my experience was not unique.  In fact, certain things can help you have a better experience with journaling. First, a motivation to become happier is helpful (clearly I was lacking any serious motivation to change my attitude at that point in time). Secondly, go for depth over breadth.  Instead of thinking of five things each time, thinking in detail about one or two things you are really grateful for can be more effective.  Third, don't feel pressure to write daily. Maybe once a week would work better for you. Lastly, try focusing on people you are grateful for rather than things.

At my current stage in life, I find it much easier to think of things for which I am truly grateful, and often, these "things" are the actions of other people. I am grateful for those who have a positive impact on the lives of my children. I am grateful for the many kindnesses people have shown to me. When I list these things on a very specific, personal level, I feel blessed indeed. And I think I will always be grateful for heat in the bathroom.

Will I ever keep a gratitude journal again? Right now I don't have specific plans to, but I do try to write about things I am grateful for in my regular journal.  The exercise of thinking through my week and finding the thing that was a blessing in my life helps me be aware of all the good things happening around me. In a world that sometimes seems dark and chaotic, taking time for gratitude is truly a healing gift.

Do you keep a gratitude journal? If so, what works best for you?

Have a wonderful week living in Thanksgiving!

Living in Thanksgiving - Perception & Gratitude

Living in Thanksgiving - How Grateful Are You?